TDBP: Red Alert

An updated view of Mission Control's TDBP Big Board is above. The Evacuee appears to be curling north for the final leg of her trip after her swift drop through the South. The TDBP has accordingly been upgraded from "Sell" to "Hold". There are nine days left on the Thirty Day Bus Pass. We have entered the last third of the TDBP, the phase of Reflections, Realizations, Resolutions, and Regrets. And Recalls, as in Product Recalls: new studies have revealed that Marlboro Reds may be harmful to health.

The Evacuee has alluded to some factual inaccuracies on Mission Control's Big Board. We'll certainly look into these purported inaccuracies, but would like to note that we are doing the best we can on a very limited budget.

We've been putting off the bad news: All systems had been go on the TDBP Mission, but Mission Control has just learned of a catastrophic event: the Evacuee has lost her power source, and will be blacked out for an indeterminate period. We here at Mission Control are not prone to overstatement, and we like to pride ourselves on our collective sang froid in high pressure situations, but we are totally flipping out. The future of the TDBP Mission, we must all acknowledge, is in dire jeopardy. Due to this emergency, Mission Control is immediately moving the mission status to Red Alert. Mission Control is taking full control of the Mission until normal system operations are restored.



In other news, Mission Control Field Day is scheduled for tomorrow. There will be an egg toss, a crab race, a Risk tournament, tug-of-war, a three-legged race, inflatable Sumo wrestling suits, Capture the Flag, beer pong, and a silent auction for Dungeons & Dragons collectibles.